The writers block for today was: "Do you think that appearances truly matter during a job interview?" or something like that, which wouldnt be a bad one to use, however I've used writers blocks the last couple times I've posted... should I truly continue to use them as my sole form of finding something to talk about?? Probably not. 

Then there is politics, which are always fun for a good discussion, but since it is usually just that... something to talk about and get your blood pressure up over nothing... since none of us blue collars can really change anything... sometimes it just feels useless to discuss political topics.  Or if I do post political then someone takes offense and acts like a douche over it.

So why do I blog?  Because this is my tiny platform to yell out my opinions to the world, my journal to make myself feel important in my own little way, my record of what I have done over the last year in some cases, and a record of what has happened to me that I am just now coming to terms with in others.  No one really listens to it regularly, but it makes me feel better when I can talk about whats bugging me, or what I'm thinking about.  In the past I have been more comfortable if I hide behind my computer, but then some things changed... I got dumped and it changed my entire outlook; effecting my thought patterns, my church attendance, my faith in God, the relationship with my family; everything.  In changing churches I've befriended some real good people, and come to realize that there are some truly good people in this world; that the people I used to be around were dragging me down and that these new friends... are very good for me. 

None of this truly matters in the grand scheme of things I guess... I'm just bored and posting.  Although while thinking on how to phrase all of this, I've realized I should post about the youth trip that the Lutheran church is doing right now.  So, here are my opinions on that matter as follows:

There were a handful (12 or 13?) kids going on the Lutheran youth convention trip this year; they do it every 3-years and were supposed to have gone to New Orleans or St. Louis or something like that, I do not remember right this second and will verify those details later if I remember to ask someone.  But my grandma had told Pastor that my new church does missions trips vs. youth convention type things... (they may do youth conventions I just am not aware of them) so Pastor Kuhlman decided that that was a good idea, and arranged for the kids to stay there an extra day so that they could do one day of missions or something like that.  Don's younger brother went this year, and had posted a Facebook status that one of my friends from CMU had liked so it gave me access to view the status, (which btw was similar to how I saw the photos of Don at Jesse's wedding when he looked so horrible... imagine not even bothering to shave for your own brothers wedding when you are the best man... (shakes my head)) anyway... the status read "had a good day painting rooms for the homeless" or something along that line.  Ha!

I realize I have a huge chip on my shoulder over this church, and that particular pastor, but why is it that no matter how good his intentions are they always hit me as being to little to late??  Especially in a church as corrupt as that one.  These kids would have been a nightmare to take into a homeless shelter.  They do not have the heart for helping people, they would have been joking around and not paying attention to their work, paying more attention to each other and 'oh how does my hair look?' than how their helping people and doing a good job.

I could rant about the youth in this church for a long time... no church is ever perfect, but heaven help me if I ever willingly attend another church as corrupt as that one.  Some might say "Well you should have tried to make a difference!" but the problem is that unless someone realizes they need help... they won't be willing to change.

People as a whole do not like to be told they are wrong, so unless they realize on their own that changes need to be made, they will only view suggestions as nagging etc.

My mother, could be an expert nag if she wanted to be; she doesn't want to be so she makes a conscious effort not to nag more than necessary.  But I was recently told by one of my friends that his mother is a super-nag, that she is nosy and always judging him.  Which got me thinking, is it an ingrained trait in women to nag?  Or is it choices as I was always brought up to believe that cause women to be nags?  I believe it's choices.  Mother chooses to not nag until its necessary, even though our house is trashed, even though the dishes may stack up in the sink and she doesn't like how we're all lazy.  The reason being that she would rather we have a good family relationship and time spent together than worrying about how clean the house is.

I don't know why Mrs. E nags, I do not know her at all other than in passing.  But my inquisitive mind asks what in the world could be going through her mind to cause her to act like this?  She is pushing her kid(s) away by her behavior.  My moms mom is a nag, a motivator, a "fixer".  Mom and I are both fixers, but we try not to be so... offensive in our efforts to fix the problems around us.  Only trying to fix the problems around us that we know we can fix and/or are asked for advice about.

There is a fine line to be walked when you are a first born, leader, fixer and woman LOL when you have all of these things, it comes more naturally to just take the bull by the horns, fix the problem and move on to the next thing; but as like has happened with my grandma, when you do that a lot of the time you step on toes.  Then you have hurt feelings or animosity that you must deal with... so all in all I think it is just best for one to stand back, view the situation and offer suggestions if the suggestions and advice are welcome.

Current Mood: contemplative

Tom, Devon & Devon's sister Kasey came over yesterday and well all went swimming, played on the ferris wheel and played board games then went swimming again.  We all had an absolute blast.  Tom began to get over his fear of the water (he almost drown so he has gone for almost 10-years without going into the water at all)  He had come over once before, so we had taken him swimming in the river and that was truly when he began to get over his fear of the water; but with Kasey there, he decided he would try going in over his head if he had floaties.  He did FABULOUS.

Tom would like to date Kasey, and had talked to me about it; after watching Kasey with him, I do not think that he has super solid grounds to doubt her; but she has a boyfriend and it causes issues somewhat. She will be leaving for college in Sept. and he is fearful that she will leave and not want him at all after she comes back, if she ever comes back.

Devon will be leaving for the marines in August, he is an artist and not someone I would think of to become a marine, however he will do well either way because he has character and will earn respect where-ever he goes no matter what the situation. 

Kasey is a respectable girl, much to good for many of the men in today's world. I do not know her background, but I know that she handles herself with grace and poise like a lady.  Being that I have only been around her in church and then yesterday it is possible that I will find she is less of a lady than I have first thought; but Tom does not go for just any girls... he goes for the good girls, the girls who refuse to allow men to kiss them or to have sex before they are married.

Tom has many characteristics that I would like to see in my future husband; but I do not want Tom himself.  Kasey is free to have him if she decided she wants him.  I simply think he will be a good influence on my brother (and perhaps myself). 

I have asked for some real, good friends offline for a long time... and now the Lord seems to have given them to me through my choices to step away from the old church and stop allowing the my grandmothers to dictate where I will go to church.

I was given a months subscription to Netflix by our dear lovely darling friend Tomas without even being asked.      So I have been watching movies and television shows ever since, instead of doing other things like blogging. LOL

The movie I just finished was called Tuck Everlasting.  I loved that movie right up until the end! I HATE that ending.  I was all wound up for her to live forever and Jesse to come sweep her off her feet...  then the movie ends showing a tombstone, insinuating that she died.  WHAT A LET DOWN!!  I was/am so annoyed I can't even tell you.

The Tuck family are immortal so the girl, who has fallen in love with the youngest boy (Jesse) must choose which world she wants to live in.  The immortal, living with each other literally forever and being head over heels in love the entire time (supposedly), watching your loved ones die aside from your husband and children if the children chose to drink from the spring; or the mortal one, living and dying like a normal person while forsaking the love of her life.  I would have completely chosen love over death.

She is told at one point that the immortals are like rocks in a river bed.  Stuck in life, not fulfilling their predestined deaths.  So when it comes time for her to choose whether to drink the water or not, she chooses not to apparently because the movie ends shortly after showing Jesse come riding up on a motorcycle (90-some years later) to kneel on her grave and mourn her death, that he did not know had occurred until that moment.  Talk about heartbreaking!! Here you run away, because the woman you love said she would drink of the spring so that the two of you could live forever only to find out when you come back for her that she did not do as she said, married another man, had his children and died like a normal mortal.  Argh!   Completely not the choice I would have made!  However, I would have probably asked my family to come be immortal with me and then we could be a nice big immortal family.  With my lovely immortal husband and children... LOL  Kind of bends the mind a little bit.

I loved the guy who played Jesse (Jonathon Jackson).  I am not entirely familiar with him, but was impressed with his acting ability in this movie.  Miles, Jesse's brother is cynical due to a lot of pain that has been inflicted upon him through the years; having fought in many wars, losing both of his children and his wife etc.  His character is played by Scott Bairstow, who I also am rather fond of in all honesty.  I like the long shaggy haired look and both boys had that in this movie; and the fact that Jesse's character has such a cool personality always helps too.  

This film stuck me as being a better version of the basic Titanic romance and I would recomend it to those who are in for a good "wrap you up in the story line" romance.

Earlier sister asked me "What should I blog about?" so I gave her a couple suggestions.  I have no idea what she chose to write about.  But now, several hours later I am faced with the same dilemma. 

Sooo I will talk about my neighbors! LOL Earlier today, a neighbor boy came over to just hang out with my family as he sometimes does.  When Austin originally came into our neighborhood he was being taken in by his grandparents because his mother is a crackhead and cannot care for him herself.  I do not know the full story but suffice it to say this little kid was literally snatched out of the lions den by his grandparents, who although are by no means poster parents, are much better caregivers than Austins own parents. He has always been a very respectful kid, never really speaking out of turn, never really being offensive in any way that I know of; always being polite whenever I've been around him even to the point that he has called me "ma'am" before, which at the time I was not expecting so it took me by surprise.  But he is one of several neighbor boys who likes to hang out.  My mother is very careful about who she allows to come into our house and hang out anytime they want.  Austin is one who has made it through her guards for the most part I think. However he seems to have this thing for animals.  Like he has a ton of them... rabbits, dogs, cats... everything.  And he runs around with another neighbor boy named Avery.

Avery... is not so fortunate as to have made it into my families good graces.  He is not the most intelligent person on the planet, not because he is lacking intelligence that could be eventually formed into something worthwhile, but because of the situation he was born into and parents who do not pay enough attention to him.  What he does lack is common sense.  This boy couldn't find his head if it wasn't attached; and those who get to know him realize that he should not be given very much responsibility because he will end up walking away from it or getting hurt. As an example of this lack of common sense, there was an incident where Avery caused their house to burn down because he was dropping lit matches between the cracks in the floorboards of the attic into his sisters room trying to scare her or some such.  I can't recall the exact scenario; however the point being that any normal, logical person, would realize that dropping something that is on fire through the cracks in the floor of the attic into your sisters room... would not be a good idea! But, he did not think about that so they now live in a house in the middle of the neighborhood supposedly temporarily until they get their house rebuilt, but right now it seems as though it will be more permanent than temporary because they have been there quite awhile and we've recently been told by the neighborhood grapevine that they are not making very good headway in acquiring the funds needed to obtain a house.

His parents leave some to be desired, with his father working all the time as an over the road trucker and his mother working most of the time as a Walmart employee; with both sleeping when they aren't working so the children end up fending for themselves, crawling all over the neighborhood looking for any dinner table to sit at, anybody to pay attention to them.  Avery is like this more so than his sister, who is older.  I am unsure how many children are in the family.  But I know of 2 for sure.  There possibly might be 3 but there are a lot of kids who hang around their house who are not legally part of the family but who hang out there any way.  Some of these kids, belong to another family that moved in during a 5-year period where several families have moved into the neighborhood who are not quite as high quality as I would have liked.

Within my family we refer to this other family as the "His-Mine-and-Ours" family because the parents have children from prior relationships and children with each other so you end up with a LOT of kids under one roof.  I am guessing somewhere in the range of 10 kids from watching them all pile onto the school bus awhile back.  But these kids and the kids from Avery's family go back and forth with the kids spending time with each other so you end up with these teens and pre-teens hanging out with each other being bored, which leads to mischief almost always!  These kids, always seem to end up being the trouble makers. 

Since these undesirable families have moved into our area there have been issues with stealing, the kids using property without permission, invading our swimming hole while we're down there swimming (a personal issue not an issue that causes the neighborhood grief) (which I almost wonder if it isn't their way of trying to include themselves into being friends with us but this is just a theory), leaving their trash everywhere... and most recently, underage drinking that the police had to be called in on, brought in by a kid with a learning permit, all occuring out in front of Avery's house.  Heh.  Oh, JOY! Just what our neighborhood needs!...